I’m really not liking this place at the moment. I was going to see Seto for a quick meeting that hadn’t been planned. I know there’s a word for that, but I can’t remember it right now. When I got close to his building, I saw this crystal on the side of it. I don’t know a lot about this planet, but I know that crystal was out of place. Seto, who met me at the window, agreed. I got to talk to him. While we did question about the crystal, the larger part of the meeting was about what happened a few weeks ago. I was worried about what was going to happen to me since I did that… But as I talked with Seto, he was able to calm my worries about it. I still don’t agree with what I did. I don’t find any pleasure in it and I don’t like doing it. I promised that instead of ever letting that happen again, I would retreat to avoid the confrontation or just use my defensive powers until I was able to escape. Seto told me that there were acceptances for what I did. He, himself, was grateful to me for helping his brother. I know that neither of us wish for actions like what I did, but I know that at times, there is need for it. He was able to take away my guilt over the matter, even though I still feel bad for it. However, I’m not going to “beat myself up” as people say here. It will take time for me to forgive myself, but I’m going to try to do so. What makes me very wary and upset right now is that Yami’s gone. I’m fearing that what happened to Seto and Jounouchi happened to Yami… Which is why I need to talk to either of them or the professor. I don’t trust myself to keep my calm at this point in time. I can already feel my anger rising and it makes my head hurt, something the professor made very clear to me means that I might lose myself again. So I’m trying to stay calm because I don’t want to kill anyone again. I updated this at the professor’s insistence, incase something happens. As it is now, I need to go see the professor again, because I’m probably going to need something to calm me down. I hope Seto and Jounouchi can help me… I know that Yami is part of their… family? I don’t know. But I don’t trust myself to do this alone. I might… kill someone again.

I haven’t updated this journal in a long time. There hasn’t been anything to say until the past two weeks. Life has, or I should say, was, going steady for the past few months. Yami and I have grown closer over our time together. He and his cousin have been polite to each other so I am grateful for their abilities to put differences aside. His skills are improving as well, speed, strength, and knowledge. I know that some bad things have been going on that revolve around Yami’s friends. I can only hope that he is kept out of this and that the others will be safe. I have also been living comfortably for the past time being, but it seems that the events of this darker section of the island are even reaching our doorstep. I don’t know why people insist on hurting the innocent citizens here. Someone told me it was all just to prove something or to test something, but that doesn’t give someone the right to torture people or put them in danger. I only thought that my friend would need my protection. I hoped that it would only be called on to deal with schoolyard bullies and the like. But this was not to be. I’ve been forced to use my powers three times now. Once was only due to a misunderstanding between myself and another man. We both thought that each had attacked the other and due to our thoughts that the other was on the opposite side; we were ready to attack. But before we could commence in a fight, he talked to me and the two of us were able to find out that we were allies in this whole mess. So instead of fighting, we trained. I have a high respect for his powers and skills. I haven’t seen any like them before. I think we’re going to get together some other time and spar again. The second time was when I was out on a night flight and found this man being attacked by less than friendly forces. I don’t know why they wanted him back, but it wasn’t anything that could have been good. Together, we were able to drive the attackers off and afterwards; I stayed with him till he got back home. He’s a very upbeat person and someone that I was glad to have helped. However, throughout both of these and all my time here, I have always believed in a simple rule of my own. I am never to kill a human being. My reasons for this are that I am not a human it was a human that saved me. I don’t know what their rules are about the killing of another human, but in my society, it was punishable by death. I never wanted to take the life of one of the people to whom I owe my life. As a member of my own race, here on their territory and under their rules, I don’t want to ever cause discourse or commit a crime. But… Just last week… There was group of person trying to hurt or kidnap someone who is very important to me, someone who I promised to protect and all costs. Their actions enraged me… and… I know my friend is safe, but I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for what I did that day. He didn’t criticize me for it or get mad at me, but… I can’t get over how I feel about it. Is it right to take a life out of defense or claim of protecting? Is it right to every take another life? I don’t know. But until I can find some kind of answer, I know I will never have peace in my body. I don’t know if I can talk to someone about this. But they need to know and this was one way I can do so without facing them yet.

I haven’t kept us with this very well… I think it’s because I don’t exactly like to reveal all that is going on in my life… but it seems to be someone that everyone does on this island. I know that the last update I gave was very angry and upset, but the reasons for it have been worked out. I am not pleased with the revelations, but I’m unable to do much about them save for prepare for them. Yami told me what he believes is the truth behind this island… but I can’t believe such a story. It’s too impossible to think about. There has to be some other explanation that I’m missing. I don’t want to think that I owe my mind to someone. That’s impossible. I refuse… I can’t believe that. There are too many people that I care about here. But I don’t know why bad things keep happening to them and all over the place. I know that about a month back, a very close friend of mine was injured and the professor had to treat him. I made a hasty judgment and took my leave, a fact that did not seem to please one of the people there. I wasn’t in the best of moods, but at least I didn’t try to start a fight by insulting. The night’s tension didn’t let up, even though my friend was healed and everyone left. The professor and I had a talk about that later… It wasn’t long after that I was forced to choose between living with the anger and confusion that I had been gathering for all this time… or if I would just let it go and take the life I’d been given as it was. I chose the second one. I will not deny truth and say that I am no longer upset with how things are. I’m still very much angry at how things work on this place. But I will not retreat into some kind of shell and rage. At times, I have difficulty in controlling my anger, but I think it’s because of the headaches. The more they hurt, the angrier I get. The angrier I get, the more they hurt. Logic is simple. Don’t get angry. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but I’ll be working on it. But I’ve not had much time to be angry in the past few weeks. Everyone was busy with something that the professor told me was a time called “Christmas.” I was confused over the whole thing, but due to the professor’s and my friends’ explaining things that I asked about, I wasn’t as lost as I thought I’d be. I did receive gifts, but I was too unfamiliar with everything to return the actions. However, it was a nice time that we got to be together with everyone. I got to see Seto, Jounouchi, Yami, Mokuba, and Shizuka again, all at the same time. There was another person there named Chrno. I guess he is a friend of the professor’s, as the professor was very kind and caring towards him. Chrno seemed like a nice person, quiet, but very pleasant. I enjoyed the season, as it’s called, as well as the New Years that followed it. Speaking of “new,” my relationship with Yami has been improving very steadily. I’m not going into detail here because it is of a private matter, but I did move out of the Professor’s house and in with Yami at his own home. I think this change worked well for everyone, myself included. I like to be with Yami, to support him and help him when he is not feeling well. I think I’ll be able to do that on an even greater level now that a certain… issue has been accepted. I’ve still got lots of learning to do in my new home, but I’m well on my way and I enjoy it.

It has been… a while since I have last placed my feelings on this journal. I made a new friend, whose name is Yami Atem, a young man from a place called Egypt. He and I are similar in several aspects. We are both warriors and we have sparred a few times. While I do have to keep my full strength restrained, his skills match my own, a feat that I find very respectful. He was also taken from his place of origin and also deals with the trouble of finding a place in this world, as well as learning the things that humans already know. As I sensed from him, he was also seeking companionship with someone that ran deeper than just friendship. As Yami is a warrior and also one close to me, I have entered into a physical relationship with him that I find rewarding and satisfying. I hope he can help me with my more disturbing concern. While most of the time has passed by with relatively no occasion, just the continued learning of the human language and the occasions that they go through daily, I have come to find that I have been kept “in the dark” when it comes to certain events that regard those I am close to. My last entry, I talked about a young boy name Mokuba Kaiba. He has become very close to me in our short friendship and I want to protect him from all harm. However, this is not the case as my friend greeted me a few days ago. He had undergone what I believe to be more trying times that people should have to go through. During our conversation, I came to find out that there have been several very negative happenings around my friends, all of which I was not informed of. After Mokuba left, I was granted the permission to walk him home, though I would have done so anyways due to my coming to distrust the man that I am living with. The professor could have told me about these things and I might have been able to help, but the fact that he kept quiet and let my friends suffer while I sat and did nothing is an idea that I find dishonorable and very offensive to my person. After I took Mokuba home, I returned to the professor and demanded an explanation. I was not pleased with what I heard and left. While I do forgive the professor for not telling me about these things when I had the chance to do something about them, I still am very angry about the knowledge that I received that day. I do not want harm to come those I care about, but I know that is not logical thinking. However, I want to exact a certain amount of revenge on the people who wronged my friends. There was no reason for such actions towards them. I do not know what the future holds. The professor informed me of his reasoning for not telling me and I believe that his motives were kind, but all the same, if we do not take risks, we will not be able to help. I still feel angry and disappointed in both the professor and myself. The know it is not my fault, but if I did not know and could have assisted if I knew, I feel that is just as bad and knowing and choosing not to help at all.

I think ‘update’ is the word that should be used when I write another of these entries. I got to meet another person a few days ago. His name was Mokuba and he’s the younger brother of Seto and Jounouchi. He was kind and quite curious about my sword and ocarina as well as my body. I guess I’m more unique than most people on this island. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I’ve gotten used to it. He does remind me of someone, but I can’t remember whom. My body has recovered fully and I am able to train again, which I enjoy very much. The professor has let me use some of his “machines” or “technology,” as they call them, to help me in my workouts. My learning has also gone well and I am getting used to the language spoken here as well as several other interesting lessons about the culture here. Seto gave me a book to read that is really helping me understand the phrases and figures of speech that people use. I find some of them to be improper but I think I need to have them put into “context,” as the professor said, and then I’ll learn what they really mean. I did have a small talk with Jounouchi about something personal and it went well. I expressed my views on it and so did he. That’s all I should do. It’s not my place to try to convince him otherwise. I do enjoy playing on my ocarina as well. I remembered a tune for it that seems to calm me and I like to listen to it. I could play it for hours, but sometimes the professor and his assistants get tired of listening to it. So that what has happened for this update. I’m going to go shower.

My injuries are healing. The ankle sprain is finished in its recovery, but my torso is still discolored and stiff. A few movements still hurt to make, but I am able to move around again. I kept the names of the people that helped me a secret in my first post because I was unsure if it was considered normal to offer other people’s names without them knowing. This is a public journal, I think. A young man named Jounouchi Katsuya was the one who rescued me from the rocks and the ocean. He brought me back to his father’s house, a man named Professor Souichi Tomoe. Jounouchi is a kind person… though his language confused me many times during our conversation. Later, I met with Jounouchi’s friend, Kaiba Seto. Seto is quieter and serious that Jounouchi… and his language was also confusing, but he used more adjectives than sayings. Both conversations were interesting. I am glad that the professor gave me several of his old language books. I’ve been studying them for the majority of my days and I’ve also gathered a few texts from his library that he suggested would help me learn more about the human language. It is an interesting language. I was able to explain a lot about my society and culture to them as well, during our talks. I think they were both surprised at what I revealed about my culture to them. Humans, according to Seto, wouldn’t succeed if they tried to work according to my society. It’s still pretty confusing. But I’m learning more each day. The professor is going to let me start training with my sword and skills again next week, once my torso is entirely healed. I’ll be happy when that time occurs.

So this is a computer. Words actually do come out on the screen. Just by pressing these keys. So I was suggested to that I should write down my thoughts and experiences on this journal so that I would not forget them. Well, I do have blank spots in my mind so I think writing them down would be a good idea to follow. Ever since that young man rescued me from the rocks and the tide, I have been staying with his father while I recover from my injuries. My torso is bruised to a great degree and my ankle was sprained to where I could not walk on it. I am still recovering from it though. I don’t know why I was washed up on the rocks. I know that I am “different” from others on this place, though. I was told to keep some information private so I am going to do so. My sword and my ocarina are both here. They have been with me for a long time and are important to me. I am a warrior so that would make sense. This place seems to be interesting. I have a lot to learn if I want to start fitting in. I don’t think I’ll be going home anytime soon. The language is very confusing to understand though. They use words to describe words and have these phrases that mean something other than what they sound like. But he did help me and as a warrior, it would be rude to start complaining about things like that. I’ll adapt. I’m not sure how to end this. He’s telling me to type “That’s all for now,” or “Goodbye.” So I did. I’ll try to figure more of this out the next time.